I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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