I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
