drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
