I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
