you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
