I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize