I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
