The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
