Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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