I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
