so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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