You can't special order awesome
my vag is so smooth its legendary
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
