He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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