i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
