NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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