the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
