She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
