and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
