she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
