he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your penis caused this!
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