Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
