Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
