she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
