Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
