It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
