yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
