Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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