so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
