ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
