I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
