Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
50% drunk capacity currently
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
