I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
