Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
