Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
