Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
