Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize