So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Your dad touched me again.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
