I queefed so loud it echoed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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