wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
