i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
