And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
