you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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