U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
