Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
