They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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