I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
