gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
