So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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