Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
