When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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