so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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