Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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