i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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