Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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