Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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