You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
