I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
