D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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