i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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