I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize