my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
