Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
